Alan Wolfson

Paul Eccentric - AKA...

- Presents

Alan Wolfson.

Contact alanwolfson@hotmail.com

M 07779240634 T 0208 341 9271

Alan's paintings can be found on Facebook at

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=14736&id=692499178&l=9dc6187914

Performing at Queens Wood Cafe. Thursday July 1st

Shortlisted for Brit Writers Award 2010 Thursday July 15th

Tea Box Richmond Friday July 9th

Rose Theatre Cafe July 16^th

Monday August 9th Camden Eye

Green Man Festival August 22nd

Saturday June 26th is the last day of Spillers at 36 The Hayes Cardiff. This is an ode to the demise of the oldest record shop in the world.

Spillers

They’ve numbered the days
of 36, The Hayes.
Once independence is lost it’ll end up in chains.
The cost? - Spillers is about
to be crossed out.

It’s all gone crwys.
John Lewis and the Marriot hotel
have bobbed up like icebergs where my dad used to sell
surplus great coats and sleeping bags at the Army & Navy store.
Back in 1964.
It was all parkas and US combat jackets,
while round the corner I’d be emerging with packets
of singles labelled Stax and Motown.
Paper sleeved 45’s of Ska, rock and pop
from the most cherished little record shop
they’re about to close down

Spillers.
Still as
enthralling and inviting
and magical and exciting.
Still firing the dreams of aspiring stars
and legion Welsh rockers of any worth
as it was before
They officially named it the oldest record store
On planet Earth.

Spillers.
Still as authentic a source for the labels
that justify turning turntables.
How come they’re able to force it to close?

There were never premises so close to our hearts,
so densely, comprehensively filled in
with rows of records and categories and charts
more deserving the label of ‘listed building’

Spillers, still established 1894
ought to stay there forever more.
There’s no greater monument to record players than
The world’s oldest record store since records began.

Alan Wolfson, the self-appointed pencil sharpener of pointlessness, effortlessly blurs the line between a bit hazy and completely out of focus. Words and images spill out of the tumble dryer of his imagination like warm damp things that could have done with another ten minutes.

Alan was born in the very middle of the 20th century, in the very middle of Cardiff. He studied graphics at Cardiff College of Art and West of England College of Art and Design. Quite suddenly he dropped his paintbrushes and careered off at a tangent to become ‘Alan Mann’ the DJ.

He found his way into broadcasting, which took him to a biscuit factory in West London, Capital Radio in South Africa, Radio Luxembourg in Mayfair, and finally Classic FM at Oxford Circus where he won two prestigious Sony Awards as presenter and producer of ‘Alan Mann’s Packed Lunch’ - Best weekend programme on national radio.

In 2000 he picked up his brushes again, and produced a collection
of paintings, exhibited in London at the annual Crouch End Open Studios,
Wood Green Chocolate Factory, and the Ariel Gallery in Dartington, Totnes.

In between canvases, Alan took to penning verse. He revisited his radio
copywriting skills, and set about liberating them from the inconvenient parameters of a brief and a deadline. Consequently, his first collection ‘My Convex is Your Concave’ is three years late, and nobody asked for it.

Alan lives and works in Crouch End, London. He has 7 remote controls.

Vuvuzela

I’m modder than the modest modfather of all - Paul Weller
I’ve done more time on Robben Island than Nelson mandela
I’ve got ten wives all gagged and tied and locked up in my celler
But I cannot get a single peep out of my vuvuzela

I fit a Gerald tighter than a Gerald fits an Ella
I've got a Rhiana shaped piana under my umbrella
I fart a stronger downdraught than A helicopter’s propeller
But I cannot get a single toot out of my vuvuzela

I’ve got more cutlery bent out of shape than Uri Geller
I soak my balls in more salty brine thanballs of mozzarella
I’m going to have to read this rhyme out strictly a cappella

Cos I blow and I shout but the sound won’t come out
Of the end of my vuvuzela

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