Jude Simpson is a unique writer and entertainer, combining insightful observational comedy with poetry, rap and song to create a unique act which leaves audiences smiling, laughing and occasionally hungry.  
Her writing is lighthearted and upbeat, though with a linguistic craftsmanship which has had her compared to writers as diverse as Eminem and Joyce Grenfell.  

Jude’s performance style is engaging and energetic - from a poem describing the characteristics of a female football fan to songs about big bones, lost love and found gadgets, she has wide appeal and the ability to leave you with a warm glow and a suspicion that maybe, just maybe, everything’s going to be OK……

She's match-fit, and she's made-up, and she's out to get her man,
a thin strip of puff pastry with a layer of thick fake tan,
jeans so tight and skinny you couldn't fit a goalpost in,
hanging half way down her arse to show off her G-string
which is decorated with a diamante St George's flag
whilst matching painted nails clutch a fake Louis V. handbag.
She's drinking too much Smirnoff Ice, she's walking like an Egyptian.
She wants to be a footballer's wife, and she's gonna get her pitch in - 
 

She's a football tart, a football tart, 
she's feminism's nemesis, a sweeper's sweetheart.
She wouldn't know the difference between Dali and Descartes, 
but the way she plays her game - man! - that's a Work of Art.
 

Figures of speech took my hands, started showing me
steps I'd never known, strung together flowingly.
Graceful phrases found me, 
set me on my feet and twirled around me.
The ribbons on my shoes turned to rhythms, from the blues 
came the news of a vocal invitation - 
the dance had returned, in a new incarnation.
'Cause my limbs are my lyrics, my lips acrobatic.
Stanzas have moved me, and now I'm ex-static.
Once in the wings, under a curse,
today I'm the lead in my own play on words.  

Extract from "Brackenbury Mummy"
 

They're seen on every pavement, watch those Mummies go, 
wiping spots of baby caviar off gucci babygros,
and their toddlers look so cute, in their shorts and Rayban shades
til they open their mouths and sound like William Hague...

Brackenbury Mummy's got a tummy like a vice - 
Three pregnancies in four years and she's only missed yoga twice. 
So Annette the au-pair tends the brood until nine on Mondays 
while Brackenbury Mummy's extending her spine, 
staying longer in the lotus, for her knees, 
just like Brackenbury Daddy in fact - except, 
               his lotus is yellow, and it's called Elise...